Best Pickup Lines

Are you a CVS receipt? Because you're unexpectedly long, and I have no idea what to do with you, but I can't throw you away.

I'm an advocate for reducing waste. So why don't we skip the small talk, go back to my place, and get straight to wearing each other out?

I'm an expert in oral presentations. I'd love to give you a private demonstration sometime.

You're the only girl I love now, but in ten years, I'll love another girl. She'll call you 'Mom.'

Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got 'I'm going to cost you' written all over you, and I'm willing to pay the price.

If our lives were a movie, meeting you would be the part where the black-and-white world turns to color.

If looks could kill, you'd be a weapon of mass destruction.

I'm trying to get into meal prep. Can I plan on eating you out for the whole week?

Are you a typo? Because you’re everything I’ve been looking for, plus a little extra.

I'm great with numbers. I can show you if you give me yours and let me add you to my bed, subtract your clothes, and multiply.

I just did my taxes and I'm supposed to declare all my dependents. Can I list you?

Hey, do you like pudding? Well how about pudding this dick in your mouth?

Are you a well-written essay? Because you've got a great introduction, a compelling body, and I'm dying to get to your conclusion.

I'm no Shakespeare, but you're inspiring me to write a sonnet.

My favorite kind of exercise is a mix of cardio and squats. Coincidentally, my bed is the perfect gym.

Are you a campfire? Because I want to get you hot and put my stick in you.

Are you a haunted house? Because I'm going to scream when I'm inside you.

Do you play soccer? Because you're a keeper.

My bedroom has a strict 'no pants' policy. I can give you a private tour if you'd like.

Are you a dad joke? Because you're delightfully corny and I can't help but smile.